Classic Car Adverts BLOG

A humorous look at the car adverts of the past.

Spike Milligan's 1930 Austin Heavy Tourer

Spoke Milligan : The best car accessory.

As we celebrate, what would have been spike Milligans birthday, April 16^th 1918, we thought we would look at his history with cars.

The main thing to remember, was that Spike Milligan wasn’t really into cars. Possibly because, since he arrived in London at the age of thirteen – having been born in British Colonial India – he worked in and around the capital.

Working as a trumpeter during the evenings didn’t call for a flashy car. Just something you could park easily if the latest gig was too far from a tube station.

"Old Min". Spike Milligan's 1930s Austin Tourer, purchased as a gift by Peter Sellers

Only two cars stand out in period press, The first was the latest, in the 1960’s, ‘new’ Mini (Don’t be confused with the modern BMW Mini, these things were properly small, they made a loss on every one sold, but they were an icon!)

We can really ignore the Mini, virtually every celebrity had one in the swinging sixties, including John Lennon, whose was driven about by a 6 foot 6 chauffeur.

No. The real hero of this story, is the little car that Spike was gifted by his friend and fellow Goon, Peter Sellers. Sellers, unlike Spike was a serial car nut, often buying and selling a new car on the same day, as the whim took him.

The car in question was a small 1930 Austin Heavy Twelve Open Road Tourer Deluxe, that the pair quickly christened ‘Old Min’ after a character on the Goons radio show.

Don’t worry if you don’t have any idea what one was either, most under 30s back in the late sixties had no idea what one was.

Peter Sellars bought Spike the car as a gift, not a whim this time as Spike had expressed an interest on first sight.

The twist comes with Spikes preferred accessory, as per the title.

Only a few weeks after gifting the car, Sellars decided to take the car back – his reasoning, “Spike had left the car out in the rain”, an understandable sin to the international movie star who had a fleet of exotica stored in a dry garages.

But also because Spike had replaced the cars temperature gauge – commonly found at the front of the bonnet on pre- WWII cars – with . . . . a coffee percolator.

In case he fancied a cup of coffee on the way back from a gig we assume. Some people had style without shouting about it.

True to all marketing principles, the car was sold recently at Bonhams (photo above) who maximised the previous owner(s) in all their adverts. A bit like Google Reviews or web site back links? I don’t think so.

Happy Birthday Jack Brabham.

In many sports, lead participants and World Champions are routinely called ‘a gentleman’ of their chosen profession.

Reflective Jack Brabham, three times winner of the Formula One crown and the only person to do so in his own car

There are some noticeable exceptions in Motor Racing, most recently Ayton Senna or even Michael Schumacher probably missed out on that title.

But, while on the track, there was certainly someone else. Sir Jack Brabham AO OBE, (2^nd April 1926 – 19^th May 2024), he was not called Black Jack for nothing.

Even out of the car he was known for being quiet, often staring, sometimes uncomfortably so.

But I must say, I never found that. Jack Brabham, was one of my first customers. Or rather his dealerships in South London were. Normally, I would work closely with the Director of his UK garages, Brian Fowler, – who certainly was a gentleman – but on a couple of occasions met the great man himself, even going for lunch.

And, he was polite, professional and interested in what we did for his company, I was always trying to spin the conversation around, looking for reminiscences about his time behind the wheel, either in a Cooper or one of his own cars. But thanks to both Brian and Jack himself it always returned to the sales calls we were making and the present state of the Motor Trade.

In 1966, he became the only man to win the Formula One World Championship is his own car, one that he helped build with his own hands. One of three he would claim before he retired from F1.

That is certainly a huge achievement, and one that I cannot even imagine ever happening again.

If he was English, I would say he had that Bulldog spirit on the track, but he would probably hit me as a staunchly, and rightly, proud Australian. There are only two drivers remembered for pushing their car over the finishing line of an F1 race.

Jack Brabham pushing his Cooper F1 car the last 400 yards of the American Grand Prix in 1959

Brabham, in 1959 pushed his Cooper the final 400 yards of the American Grand Prix, after it had run out of petrol. One of the many steps to his first world title that year.

The eventual winner, Bruce McLaren even felt, after the race, that Jack had gifted him the win.

(The other World Champion to famously push his own car was Nigel Mansell, also in the American Grand Prix, in Dallas in 1984).

So we say happy birthday Jack. A hero when racing formula one cars needed you to be a hero, It was certainly a pleasure.

Should you teach young drivers how to change a flat tyre

Trying to be a good father.

Having driven for a lot of years, with very patchy mobile phone coverage for a lot of those years, we sometimes forget the basics for our children.

Thursday night made me think. Coming up the A1 through Cambridgeshire in the rain, I got a puncture. I won’t draw you a picture but swearing was involved and so was being soaked through as I had to change the tyre on the side of the road.

Teaching our children how to change a flat tyre.

But it did set me thinking. So over the bank holiday (much to my wife’s amusement) I ran through the steps required to change a wheel with my two youngest children – him 17, her 23. And I can recommend it to every father.

It wasn’t raining in Yorkshire on Saturday (I’m not that nasty), but we had the usual moans of “do I have to. . ” and “I’ll get dirty“, but I think in the end, they appreciated it. Especially when I pointed out, that at best, on the Thursday night before Good Friday even the RAC will take 3 hours to get to you. AND what happens if you’re in one of the few mobile phone back spots.

So . . .

Find where they put the jack. (What is a jack dad?)
The wheel out of the boot.
The small clip to get the wheel nut covers off.
And the wheel brace / wrench.

The questions of where to put the jack I was expecting and able to demonstrate, the wonder at why we had to lock wheels I wasn’t.

Wasn’t it easier when wheel hubs had studs to locate the new wheel? And you remember to slacken the nuts slightly before you jack the car up?

But we got there. Lots of struggling to get the wheel out of the boot, and how you might have to stand on the wheel brace to undo a very tight wheel nut, but they both achieved the end result.

I had considered buying an Easter egg for the fastest time taken, but in the end they both got one.

As a recommendation. Especially if you have a daughter. Buy an 18” length of pipe to go over the wheel wrench handle to make it a bit longer. You don’t really want to be leaping up and down on the wrench at the side of the road.

Oh, and buy an RAC membership!

Does anyone remember the stupidity of certain French manufacturers who put the spare wheel outside the car, underneath the boot floor? Assuming the small latch to release the frame wasn’t seized solid, you had to try and push a deflated tyre and wheel back onto the framework and lift it back up into place while simultaneously trying to put the latch back into place, with one wet, dirty, oily, hand!

You know who you are Renault.

The Winner – 12 / 12 Cars of Christmas

We got to the end of our list of 12 Cars for Christmas., these were based upon a combination of style, ‘coolness’, driving pleasure and sheer personal preference. If you have a better list or just one model you want to add the list, let me know

Some great design points. Great performance. Really great performance even winning at Le Mans first time out. And the winner is . . .

Our festive 12 cars of Christmas concludes with a fantastic road and race car. Unbeatable in its day, and certainly hard to match even 30 years on. Now you feel old.

Our previous nomination in 12 cars of Christmas. Who came runner up.

The top four cars are pretty much inter-changeable all of them could have got first place. It would depend upon the day, the journey I had to make and . . . . . well, it had Countach doors and it won Le Mans.

McLaren F1

Built as a road car, that competed at Le mans. Not unusual, but winning first time out with the designer wising he had driven the car to the track to prove its road worthy credentials is.

Phenomenal performance. Uncompromising design and manufacturing. And a cool central seating position cemented its place at the top of our 12 Cars of Christmas. Everything else faster is either a special or heavily overweight.

You need to see one. Compared to many modern hyper cars, the F1 is tiny. You really can chuck it down a B-road. Not something I would think of doing in a Lamborghini Aventador or Ferrari F90.

And you can take TWO friend. Gordon Murry, the designer though that sitting in the middle was the best place for a driver to be. Who am I to argue.

The heat shielding in the engine bay is gold foil. Real gold. Because that was the best product for the job. No compromise. No turbo’s. Apparently better response from a naturally aspirated engine, in this case a 6 litre V12 courtesy of BMW motorsport with 618 bhp.

A bit late to be a poster on my wall. But a 241mph top speed. It certainly ended up on lots of you car fan’s walls.

The list is the personal preference of our Director, Guy Winter. A car fanatic since the 1960’s, he eats’, sleeps and dreams everything Motor Trade. For the past 25 years he has worked for Cymark providing digital and telephone marketing support for individual retailers, groups and manufacturers alike.

If you want to stay on top of the latest Motor Trade chat either subscribe to this blog or find Guy on Linkedin.

11 / 12 Cars of Christmas

A combination of style, ‘coolness’, driving pleasure and sheer personal preference. If you have a better list or just one model you want to add the list, let me know.

Our festive 12 cars of Christmas continues with and absolute show stopper. It draws crowds today just as it did 50 years ago. the Lamborghini Countach. Could you pick better.

Our previous nomination in 12 cars of Christmas

The top four cars are pretty much inter-changeable all of them could have got first place. It would depend upon the day, the journey I had to make and . . . . . a poster on a 1970’s bedroom wall.

Lamborghini LP500 Countach.

The doors, the performance, the look. Ok, the real reason is the look. Style, complete with a 70s model crawling all over it.

I’m not precious. It doesn’t have to be an early model, the LP400 or the periscope rear view mirror model. But similarly it certainly cant be a LP5000QV or one of the last Anniversary models with more plastic bolt on’s than a lego kit.

The LP500 had it all. The technical advantage – it put the gearbox in front of the engine, right next to your elbow, so the gear change was as good as could be. This did mean that the drive shaft – that went to the rear driven wheels – had to go through a specially made tube built into the bottom of the engine sump. Italians eh.

Oh, and a v12 full bore engine screaming away behind you all the way to the 7,800rpm red line. Power is a little bit vague, depending upon who you ask its between 375bhp and 440bhp.

I remember being told at the time that the mere name of the car, ‘Countach’ means a slightly stronger version of ‘Bloody hell’, in Italian. I have no idea if that is true, to be honest I prefer not knowing for sure.

As an avid 70’s tv movie watcher – and later the video – the opening soundtrack of the Cannonball run made the Countach so cool. Plus the fact you had to had climb out o the car if you wanted to reverse it.

I would say -‘Why don’t we make cars like this any more?’, but we do. Lots of them, all the hyper cars. The trouble is that they don’t stand out like the Countach did. Just like the E-type Jaguar in the early 1960’s, this was a car that made you say ‘WOW’.

If you want to stay on top of the latest Motor Trade chat either subscribe to this blog or find Guy on Linkedin.

10 / 12 Cars of Christmas

A combination of style, ‘coolness’, driving pleasure and sheer personal preference. If you have a better list or just one model you want to add the list, let me know.

Audi ur-Quattro. 10/12 of our Cars for Christmas. A real world car that could be driven fast no matter how bad the weather. Do you have a better car.

The top four cars are pretty much inter-changeable all of them could have got first place. It would depend upon the day, the journey I had to make and . . . . . well lots of things. In this case, it might be that the weather was bad or it was raining.

Audi ur-Quattro.

The cold, wet forests or Keilder and North Yorkshire, bright lights lancing through the trees behind you as you desperately ran along the gravel track to the next ‘even better’ vantage point. Somewhere else to get showered with grit at 2am in the morning.

Another popping, fire breathing, rally car that ended up arriving in the retailer showrooms in the 1980’s. Pick 10 valve or 20 valve performance, in road trim there was little difference between them – although the 20v seemed to rev harder. It had a 2.1litre turbo charged 5 cylinder engine. Even the talking dashboard version was cool, even if most owners did turn the feature off.

Starting life as a military 4 wheel drive system, shoe horned into a pretty Audi coupe, the gearbox also had locking differentials, so you could turn the car into a virtual tractor if you needed to.

Once I got my driving licence, I only wanted two cars. The Porsche 911, already covered here, and the Audi Quattro (in red or grey). Neither, I could afford at the time.

Audi did have a 2.2 litre un-turbocharged coupe, using the same engine and body. It was slate grey, It wasn’t the real thing, but it was close. So I had one of those instead.

But the proper version, it had useable performance, almost available to ’every man’, that was more focused on the 50mph to 130mph window. It remains the second fastest – cross country – real world car I ever drove (after the Lancia Delta Integrale, but that was way too unreliable and rust prone to appear here unfortunately).

If you want to stay on top of the latest Motor Trade chat either subscribe to this blog or find Guy on Linkedin.

09 / 12 Cars of Christmas

A combination of style, ‘coolness’, driving pleasure and sheer personal preference. If you have a better list or just one model you want to add the list, let me know.

Our festive 12 cars of Christmas continues with the Ferrari 288GTO. Probably the best, and certainly prettiest Ferrari every made. Could you pick better.

The top four cars are pretty much inter-changeable all of them could have got first place. It would depend upon the day, the journey I had to make and . . . . . well lots of things.

Ferrari 288GTO.

No, there is no point in waiting for the rest of the list, the F40 isn’t there.

The 288GTO is that rare thing (and also much rarer than the F40 in numbers with only 272/8 being built) it started its design life as a Group B car. A true road car, made as good as it can be to go racing.

The F40 on the other hand started out as a race car that was then ‘adapted’ slightly to make it road usable. Personally I would like proper door handles, radio and ventilation system. If you search the internet for the 288GTO Evolution (not this model) with its screwed on wheel arches and spoilers you can see the F40 taking shape. The 288GTO is just so much more elegant. You, and your passenger, can drive up to the Savoy, hand the keys to the valet and not feel like an idiot, its a car, not a racing car.

To the untrained eye it just looks like a 308GTD/328GTB, but virtually every part is unique to this GTO. The 2.8litre turbo charged V8 produced 400bhp in road trim, but made the car slightly longer than earlier models sharing the same styling because it was mounted in-line, rather than transverse. And because Grp B, was cancelled the cars were fitted with air-con and full leather.

The F40 is a race car underneath, with no pretence of comfort, the 288GTO is simply beautiful.

Was it a drivers car? Well, Nicki Lauda ordered one. He wasn’t slow.

If you want to stay on top of the latest Motor Trade chat either subscribe to this blog or find Guy on Linkedin.